The CHRONICLES of The Adventures of the THREE chic-ateers

DREADY PINKY

Today been the last day in the month of May..for no reason I decided to have fun..

D month has really been hectic and it wasn't easy at all..I was at our country home and a couple of my friends were at home too..meet PINKY and DREADY(yeah dats wat dey really are)..one has ultra pink lips and d other has locks even I can't seem to decipher whether she was born with it or got it..whichever it really fits her..

PINKY's dad was doing his birthday/retirement party and i drove down with DREADY to there own country side..it was fun cos DREADY was fighting with her bobo and she kept on urging me to overtake him but I didnt keeping in mind "Jan3rd"..

D party was cool right, but my gist starts from after..we left PINKY.

I and DREADY decided to hang out at a popular hotel close to home..we got there..had to escape the catcalls of some irritating caucasians and then endure the sight of some chunky human specimen waddling in the pool just to chill at the poolside..

There were three chics dere who caught my interest..One was in the pool without a proper bikini which my friend commented on..i laughed but not loudly cos it was kinda obvious and I didnt want to look like a snob..Another one was downing a bottle of Udeme. Green toe paints that matched nothing on her.The third was wearing an evening gown and had a black eye..yes.. a black eye..my friend was shocked..

Obviously, it was time to leave before we get mistaken for their class..bone snobbery..am not hanging like dat..unfortunately, green paint and evening gown had gotten ahead of us..

As i drove out of the premises, they both raised their hands soliciting for a ride,i braked sharply and reversed..DREADY was like "are u mad?"I said "babe,I wan know wetin bash dat gal for eye"..

Gbam Gbam, they entered the back.. gosh d smell was horrible, I couldn't even begin a conversation..I increased the music and told them where i was going to drop them...

DREADY asked my why again..and dat was when it happened..Evening gown squeezed into the middle and asked my friend why she didnt want me to drop them at home and she caressed DREADY's arm..DREADY shook her hand off and it landed on my mine.my esteemed right hand..i almost lost my grip on the steering..

I was repulsed..that over bleached hand on mine..i shook it off too and accelerated..she and green paint passed a look that I saw in the mirror..i screeched to a stop..

PLease get down, am not taking you further than this..Green paint got down, but Evening gown lingered..she looked me in the eye and said.."Aren't you going to take my number"..I cringed.

NO, NOW GET OUT!

DREADY immediately started swearing which was unlike her..i turned around and drove home..i couldn't get into the shower fast enough..for the first time i shared a shower with my friend cos nobody could wait for the other..i had broken out in goose bumps..i was repulsed..i scrubbed my arm raw..when i was thru i went to PINKY's house and related the story to her..she listened quietly and at the end shouted..

Aah, E gbe ASHEWO..(trans: you carried prostitutes).

Was she just trying to roll with us?

Did she think we were lesbians?

Or was she just been friendly?

And what is the world turning too?

Still H*O*R*N*Y

In d present condition i am.
i couldn't help but scroll through my phone book.
thinking of who could be my booty call if things got too bad.
and then i remembered.
oh my weepy baby.
from when i met him some years ago.
the only problem i had with him was the fact that he could outcry me.
d first day we met: he cried
d first day we kissed:he wailed
d first day he climaxed:he sobbed
any thing apart from that he had my pass mark.

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The location is just convenient.
as he stays in my neighborhood.
its not as if he is charismatic.
or that i can take him home.
but he could suck a storm up.
and after i had tutored him.
he doesn't kiss so much with his saliva.
i knew if it got too bad, i could always count on him.
to give me anyway i wanted.
cos he has a listening ear.
and a fondness for doing it the way i wanted.

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So i picked my phone.
fortunately his numbers were still there.
i mashed the green button down.
and it almost became a video call.
i cautioned my voice.
you must not sound horny.
hello. he said.
and this judas down there.
went into over drive.
i mean gear1 straight to 5.
hi. nee.
how are you doing?
i said.
Oh baby. he replied.
have been good.
but you were wrong not to call me back.

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**FLASHBACK**


I remembered d last time i called.
i hid my number.
he said he was in church(my weepy brother in the lord)
but i didn't call him back cos i didn't feel horny.

**BACK TO PRESENT**


Jo ma binu. i said.
but you sef no try.y do u always lose my number.
bla bla bla bla..his usual pathetic story.
while my credit burnt away.
ok,ok,ok,ok
long and short.

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So when next are you going to be around.i asked.
I will check you up tomorrow.
and my judas screamed for joy.
i wonder if getting a head is not going to ruin my celibacy.
OR IS IT?.
I should be able to give him one too.
SHOULDN'T I?.
but then he went into a realm i dint expect.
Parrot, u know i love you.


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***SILENCE**

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Parrot!
Hello!
Parrot!


***SHIT***


Even judas kept quiet.
cos it knows i don't like the "L" word.
Lust i can take.
but Love,most definitely not.

************************************************************


Hello hello.
look nee. call me back later.
something just came up.
i couldn't get off the phone fast enough.

************************************************************


P.S- was that too long?

P.S.S- malaria actually doesn't erase lust.

P.S.S.S- and Happy easter gone.


*************************************************************

Am soooooooooo H*o*r*n*y

i know its been a long time since i blogged but seriously i need help.
i know my mother did not raise me up to start acting like dis.
evrytime i walk past a fine dude.
i cant help but sigh.
i scope his torso and butt.
am a sucker for a tight bum anyday.
but what gives me concern is dat.
now i go as far as checking out d crotch size.
Am so horny nowadays i can't think straight.
Every romance novel i read leaves me hungry.
every love scene a lesson in wetness.
i just hope its a phase that passes.
because if i act on what my coochie is telling me.
am going to fuck myself blind.
my mother spent too long giving me talks.
and have kept myself for too long to sucumb.
but for now.
am dealing with my groin-searching eyes.
and spending more time in church.
saying dear Lord please wipe all fine boys.
from my vicinity and give my pussy the grace.
to know when to breathe.
and when to clench.