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even though you have not asked I am hale and hearty and still searching for a guy that can bring my emotions under control...dats a roundabout way of saying I was alone on vals day..terrific..now i have nothing to write except to lament my single state...The truth is i have met two terrific guys..One is yoruba and the other Edo..long nd short..they are different in evry way..*complexion*finances*height*ambition*charismaOne cries the other doesnt and you know how much i hate tears in a man but he is so cute ..One is my tender age and the other matured..and ladies you know the age mate boyfriend is never ready when you are to go to the next level..but the one my age is my tribe and that counts for a lot because my parents are tribalists and will not allow me to marry outside my tribe..I call one silentnight and the other endurance(for what he suffered in the hands of his ex-gal)Holla at me if you think i have just reason to be concerned about tribal differences..i have already lost husband-material cos he is igbo and when i mentioned it to my father jokingly he almost had a heart attack..
I had "D dream" again..it's pretty scary cos dere has never been and there is still no indication that it will ever happen..I first noticed TEE in my 300l in school..I used to go and play lawn-tennis almost every other evening and he used to come and play volley ball. I admit i was drawn to the court initially because of all those fit,muscular and sweaty male torso flying all over the place..The two courts been adjacent to each other..but gradually as I was not getting any better at lawn tennis..I was encouraged to change over to volleyballing..
It wasn't a simple transition..it wasn't as easy as it looked..infact,as much of a tomboy as I was:gettin hit regularly by the ball in the name of spiking and blocking wasn't my best idea of sport or staying fit..but I was determined to learn..At that point,I must have been the creamiest gal on court cos I had a bevy of followers always seeing me off to the hostel or trying to..but TEE was never one them..this was the first time that I was attracted to a guy and he wouldn't even look at me or smile at my antics..it was hellish..
At first, i stayed away from the court thinking: he isn't even all that cream and tall sef..but later the fighter in me made me go back to court and start working on him..i fell on him..pushed him..said hi and did everything I could without embarrassing myself, just to get his attention and finally I did..he started talking to me cos his friend wanted to toast me but I made it a clear competition as i dictated my number to both of them..but when his friend called I warned him severly not to call me again,while i encouraged TEE to let us txt chat..
That was how we became friends..we got to know each other and it was always fun knowing that after he saw me off ,his messages will start coming in..he started playing much more better on court(i think he was showing off for me or my infatuation made him seem better)..I started missing some evening classes just to go see him and I think that's when my g.p dropped..
Then one dark,nepaless n windy night in my room...we kissed..GBAO GBAO SWSIHH GBRAGER...It was electric,thunderous and explosive............................................a minute of silence to remember that kisss....................................................I mean he is your typical, sporty nerd..he had never been to a party talk less of a club but he could dismantle a laptop in less than 10 minutes...My world was shaken..I mean I expected a clumsy and somewhat soggy kiss but it wasn't to be...He was not too worldly too so we kissed for close to an hour:thirty minutes..for me thats a huge record cos am not particularly fond of mouth to mouth resuscitation..That was how we became kiss buddies..
At that time,I was so full of myself and thought I was all that..I mean if I wanted anyone I was sure I could get him..I had a toaster at that point..his name..MUY..he was serving in Asaba and he seemed my type..at times he would call when I was with TEE and I would free my lips and pick the call..usually the call ended with "I miss u to", "Can't wait to see you"and yes "I like you too"(I can't stand d word "love")..Anyway.all these while,I never knew it was affecting TEE, the way I was saying all those things..but since he never actually asked me out and knew about MUY,i felt he was ok with been kiss buddies..
We kept this new status hidden from our fellow volleyballing mates and individual friends..mainly because I insisted..by this time we were in 400l,2nd semester and I was already thinking ahead to what will happen after school..he didnt seem like he would feature in the nearest future..distance and ambition was bound to tear us apart..so I decided to ease away gradually...It didn't really hurt at that time but later I felt it cause I realised that you don't know what you have got till its gone..Our friendship became stilted..we would talk..for a long time we won't..i went through a series of phone loss and i am not good at memorising numbers..he would call and I would say who is this? he would get angry that I had deleted his number..no matter what I said I would sound like I was lying..That was when I first had the dream...
That first time, i kept it to myself...the second time,i told a friend she laughed...the third time ,I told him and he said am I serious..in a mockingway..but this morning it happened again after we have not been in touch for sometime..and hours after..a message came in..
THE MESSAGETEE:- Hi...hw ur day?(5naira)
PAR:- Fine.urs?(5 naira)TEE:- Aite...where u @(5 naira)
PAR:-AK bt off 2 lagos 2moro(was expecting an invitation at this point)(5 naira)
TEE:- K...safe trip then.Jst chekn up on u.Sleep tait(5 naira)
PAR:-(shocked bt wit pride intact) Thanks.I appreciate it.(5 naira)
30Naira and my dream was shattered again..I could smell the indifference..as if he was just trying to do his part in keeping in touch....
You are probably wondering where I am going to with this jargon..I just have to get this off my mind..I know TEE may never read this (hiccup) , may already have someone else (wailing now)...I am too proud to tell him like this(hiccup) but I DO LOVE YOU (huge sob) and
AM SORRY..
1.sorry for not seeing what a gem you are..
2.sorry for not respecting the love you had for me..
3.sorry for forgetting your number..
4.sorry for throwing your care away..
5.sorry for all the times i didn't keep in touch..
6.sorry for all the times i said "love" in front of you and not to you..
7.sorry for not taking you to your first party as I promised..
8.sorry for letting my stupid pride get in my way
9.sorry for the times I was not there for you
10.sorry, for I keep having this dream,that one day I will walk down the aisle to meet you***
Dexter* the Emperor Musabo of Qua'anpan(pronounced Kwanpan); where he is doing his Service is 5feet sumtin tall and I met him on my way back to Lagos from Akure. His most prominent feature is perhaps his afro and then of course his brash personality.He is fun to be around and has a bottomless well of humor. Another feature I can't seem to get past is his Lower lip(Think Angelina jolie's but a bit plumper):not that have sampled it ohhhhhh..Anyways, we spent two days or so together at my cousin's home..He is my cousin's friend...Been with Dexter is just like been in "a nite of thousand laughs": Fun all the way..the first day, it was as if I had met him since 24yrs ago.We talked and talked and talked and it was awesome..That night when I went to bed(Yes i did & alone),I began to feel the first stirrings of attraction.It has really been a long while since I particularly felt close or chatty with anyone.The guys have being meeting are either boring, irritating or compulsively attentive. Dexter is none of the above. When he first entered the car, he had a bottle of Eva filled with an odd concotion and he claimed it was sepe, opa eyin and all those other things;I later discovered that it was Two bottles of Malta Guiness and a bottle of coke and fanta. In my mind, I thought what a nincompoop..Now that nincompoop, is a friend who is sensitive, touchy and heartwarmingly charming..I knew he was supposed to leave after a night but he stayed for another day..today he has had his bath and was on his way out of the door, when I told him I was going to miss him and if he stayed another day I will dedicate a page to him on my blog..well he is behind me now trying to read my blog now. Anyway, you never know where you can make a good friend so always give everyone a chance to be themselves or express themselves..I have been extremely nasty and rude in the past but I have come to realise that for me to have friends who still care about me despite all my shortcomings;I also deserve to give people a chance to be themselves and you never know what personality you might like..forget all those sanguine personlity and things.
Dexter*-not real name.
